To Save Your Marriage, Stop Talking!
It may seem counter-intuitive to say that in order to save your marriage you need to stop talking to your partner, but this could in fact be the very thing that allows some couples to move beyond their problems and return to happiness together.
A therapist’s couch is where most couples end up when the marriage turns sour. They start out angry and upset, and often it is an uncomfortable position to be in that causes a lot of anxiety. Yet, after a few sessions some couples start to become closer again and work out their issues. Others will continue to make the sessions unpleasant and will never work anything out.
Why is it that talking works for some couples but fails miserably for others?
The difference is that the couples who are successful with talk therapy eventually realize that it’s not the talking that saves the marriage! It’s the process of really hearing what each person has to say and then taking deliberate actions in daily life to fix the problems that ultimately saves the marriage.
The key is listening, not talking. Couples therapists can be a great tool, as long as you use them in the right way. Two people staring bitterly at the floor, breath sucked in tight, waiting for their turn to spill all the dirt and get even with the other person, will likely never work anything out. You have to actually listen to one another.
The recipe for success is a short period of open, honest, attack-free discussion where both people are allowed to state the issues as they see it without worry of attack or revenge. If you really listen to one another and then take deliberate action to start fixing the issues, you may really be able to save the relationship.
Another way to totally screw things up is to leave the talk session in a rage, screaming and yelling at one another. Or, you can completely shut one another out and refuse to talk at all. In either case, you aren’t like to move forward with positive action to fix the problems and all the fighting or ignoring will lead nowhere.
Instead of storming out of such a session with anger, you should storm out thinking of ways to make things better. Then take action! It’s what you ultimately do, not say, that is going to eventually save your marriage or allow it to self-destruct and erode even further.
I recommend you check this out for further information, this site has other articles that will help you out: Save Marriage Help or How To Catch A Cheating Spouse or Save Marriage From Divorce